In spite of my inane fear of the dark and the eerie stuffs,I simply can't let go of my fascination for horror movies!
1.Put on 5 kilos weight and didn't have guilt trips.
2.Started reading a book on AI.
3.Drove the car really well,without making an attempt to smash it.
4.Learnt to marinate the chicken for preparing chicken korma.
5.Read Reading Lolita in Tehnran which I've been planning to do for quite a long time.
6.Had a long,long heart-to-heart chat with Choi,Ching and my brother.
7.Watched A Good Year and was amazed to find out that I could actually understand what people are talking in fluent French.And Guns of Navarone for the umpteenth time.
8.Had dark French chocolates with cheese/marshmallow.
9.Realised that I actually do not have much time left before the French A2 exam.
10.And smiled a lot...but then that I always do!
11.Thought of a few events and improvisations for U-Turn.
So summing up,life's really really good.I figured out that if you don't think straight and avoid unnecessary complications that arise mainly from your own inexplicable dumb ego or your prolific imagination,it screws you bigtime. But then,even if you do,it does! :-)..I'm NOT going into all that details.
By the way,if you haven't already noticed,the post title says 10 things...!
God! And to think I never actually knew that I had the capability of feeling shy and making a complete fool of myself~..!!
But it was amazing('amazing' being an understatement). :-).I have decided to refrain from the further use of 'good'!
And you know, I AM very bad at expressing myself. You just have to get the vibe.
*glittering eyes*
I wish I could figure out just exactly what and how I am feeling.It's a mixture of so many emotions that I'm clueless as to how to react to everything.
The last week I was rather "comfortably numb".It wasn't irreversible depression.Just a strange hollow feeling in the gut.But now,I've got over it completely.And it's replaced by this bizarre,indescribable state of mind that's getting on my nerves for several reasons.
People keep on starting every conversation with a "how's life?"or a "how are you doing?".And to tell the truth,I have no idea.Apart from the usual daily chores,I'm upto nothing special.Yeah, I talk a lot these days!And walk like crazy.But then I really don't know how to respond to this question as I have no idea just how I'm feeling.
Right now, I'm feeling
happy,warm,nice,pissed,anxious,scared, mad....something like that.And I can't even find something to listen to,something that's going to suit my mood.I just feel weird.Can someone suggest a weird song?
I'm looking forward to U-Turn bigtime.Hope everything goes fine.(without elaborating what can go wrong!)
And I hope I'd learn not to expect so much from people,that in the end it becomes suffocating for them.Or things get messed up by misunderstandings.
I'm tired of feeling weird.I wish something would just snap and I can feel something real and concrete.
Subah subah ka khayal aaj
Wapas Gokul chali Mathuraraj.
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Manohar besh chhod Nandaraj
Sir se utarke sundar taaj.
Rajdand chhod bhoomi par waaj
Fir kahe basuri bajao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Kaun sa anukhagit kahe dik kula?
Raajpaat jaise aaj bhari dhool.
Kaun sa anukhagit kahe dik kula?
Birhaan lagi fir hriday kula.
Raajkaaj maan na lagao,
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Poornari sari vyakul nayana
Kusumsajja lage kantak shayana.
Poornari sari vyakul nayana
Raatbhar Madhava jaagat bechaina
Kahe aadhi raat sarathi bulao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Dhir dhir pahuchat Yamuna ke teer,
Sunsaan panghat mridul sameer,
Dhir dhir pahuchat Yamuna ke teer,
Khankhan Madhava biraha madir.
Use kahe bhul na pao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Tumhari piriya ab poori gharwali
Doodh nawan ghiyu deen bhar khali.
Tumhari Radha ab poori gharwali
Doodh nawan ghiyu deen bhar khali.
Biraha ke aansu kabke pochh daali.
Phir kahe dard jagao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
Mathuranagarpati kahe tum Gokul jao?
- Gulzar
It's a long lazy day.I went to bed at 3 a.m.Fell asleep at 4.30 a.m.Woke up clumsily at 6 and went for driving classes.Almost fell asleep behind the steering.Nearly rammed into a wall.The trainer was displeased.Baba frowned from behind.And I kept on yawning.
Came back at 7 and fell asleep again.Woke up bleary-eyed at 9.30 to say "bye"to Choi and then dozed off.Finally I woke up at 12 and proudly sent sms-es to people announcing that "yeah!at last I've woken up!".Many congratulated,the others either teased mercilessly or came out with similar stories.
Will head for JU at 4.Adda,coffee,music and lyadh.
Then to Choi's place,for further lyadh and music.And musings.
And now, I've to sit and write 11 C programs for my cousin who has his computer exams tomorrow.
A long lazy day.With the promise of an equally lazy tomorrow.
How many times have I said "Like D'uh! As if I care??!!" and then ended up caring more than what's heartsmart??
I've lost count.
But now, I've got to learn not to care so much.So much that in the end, it hurts.
No more.
There's more to life than all these.More,some of which I've discovered in my books,-Peter Atkin's Four Laws that drive the Universe,to be follwed by the one on fundamentals of AI.
And music.There's no dearth of peace that I discover in the lilting voice of Denver.And I'm addicted to heavy metal bigtime.My ma has threatened me with eviction.
And friends=my extended family.
And my guitar( a mental note to Subhayuda=I hope you don't mind that I'm calling it mine.It's yours truly and will always be.Thank you for the sudden random scrap in Orkut 5 months back.And everything that followed.Sometimes, one shouldn't actually ignore complete strangers in Orkut :=)) )
And driving.The car has a freaking excellent pickup and I love speeding past the snake of lorries almost clogging Anwar Shah Road.It gives me an exhilarating sense of freedom.That I'm actually in charge of this mechanical-electrical wonder and I can escape to all the coveted places on my own without having to depend on others.
And sudoku.I've gone all ga-ga over it.Especially the Diabolic Sudoku that comes every morning in the Telegraph supplementary.
And pj-s.Thanks to Aashish for reviving my penchant for it! He has an amazing(amazing is an understatement)..mind-boggling stock of some of the most hilarious pj-s in the world.And I actually laugh my heart out at them.
And Ma and Baba for being the best parents in the whole wide world.
And Choi and Tutu :=)) (I nicknamed him. So he's Tutu to me,though probably both of them will kill me after they read this...*nonchalant shrug*)
And Ching and Yahoo.Hope the network strenghthens with time.My uncanny sixth sense tells me it will.
And people who became real close friends within a very short span of time-like Prithviraj,Prithvi,Aritra,Arnab,Trina,Shruti,Goto and everyone.
And cooking. Someday,the kitchen will be on fire and hit the headlines.But I'd emerge as a successful cook and the world will doff its hat at me.
And the sprawling fields of JU,the jheelpaar,the staff canteen,Milanda's canteen,the bedi near the union room,cheering for cricket matches,the endless processions,the 29 sessions,the long walks,the setting sun,the sudden gust of wind,the old guitar and everything that's JU.
And someone who changed the course of my life,moulded it into the way it is,egged me on to achieve what I've always wanted.And still does.
Everything that makes me feel good(the list is endless thankfully!!).
There has been hardly any moment when I was truly depressed, or ill-tempered or feel pessimistic.The sudden but short-lived phases aren't worth-mentioning.I love being happy.
Cheers to life.
P.S:The blog title is misleading.I meant every word I wrote.
The good thing about having a brother who earns and is head over heels in love is that he suddenly becomes so mushy that he hardly refuses you to anything.I badgered mine for a treat at our Indian coffee House,assuming that he'd flaty refuse,but then! surprise!!surprise!!. He smlied coyly and agreed to it.Only condition was that his girlfriend would join us over coffee and I would have have to let them have some private time.
Hell man!! You can have all the private time in the world as long as I get to gorge on good food! Seriously,I'm such a pig. But then, I've another word for it. I like to look upon myself as a voracious eater, one who appreciates good food. But then, my grandmother loves to act like a wetblanket sometimes and calls me a petuk(the Bengali equivalent of glutton) right in front of a roomfull of people when I'm happily tucking in some of her mouth-watering delicacies.That's so embarassing!And on top of that she goes on rambling "Eto boro meye! etto khay???keu pochhondo korbe na!!!"(now what has my marital prospects got to do with my food habits???)Not that I care! :-))
Coming back to the main topic, I went to have coffee with my brother and his girlfriend at Indian Coffee House,a hole-in-the-wall eatery at 8B Stand, Jadavpur,a popular haunt of the students of JU who're almost perennially broke! Anyway,we reached the place,thronged with apparently respectable people,So I nudged my brother and reminded him that no "handholding-sholding will do here.People will stare!" He was like "D'uh! As if I care!". Anyway, I reminded myself that I'm here only for the coffee and because my mashi has entrusted me with the responsibility to keep her informed about his whereabouts and activites. Ahem! I do have a reputation with mothers of being "reliable,mature and blah blah blah!". So I automatically get the job of keeping a constant vigil on their unfortunate kids who loathe me with a passion. And I demand to be bribed and appeased with good food,esp coffee, as in case of my brother.I'm so mean!!!
The laowers were smitten with each other,but the boy had an eye on me,lest I order something overpriced. Money-hungry jerk! All the time making me cover up for his romantic escapades while I get the flak from his frantic mother! I had half a mind to throw a tantrum, but the the docile angel that I am, I had to remain satisfied with cold coffee.
My oh my! How the lovers stared at each other,blushed, smiled and blatantly disapproved of my presence!! D'oh! As if I wanted to stay with them right now being a kebab mein haddi as the popular Hindi saying goes. I savored on creamy cold coffee and watched their scalding hot coffee running cold while they smiled and crooned words not meant for my ears :-)). It was nice to watch them( at this point I stop and point out to my readers esp Choi that I've refrained from using the word fun which shows that I'm not so insensitive as I used to be before).It was like watching two mature adults who had retrograded to being shy kids first introduced at the kindergarten.They didn't touch even the piping hot pakodas which i had ordered and I shamelessly gobbled them up.They didn't even talk.All they did was to sit and stare at each other and sometimes,almost blankly at me when I tried to initiate some sane conversation.
Suddenly my mashi called me up."Tora kothay re?? bhai ki korchhe??"she grumbled.I assured her that everything's okay and her son is not upto something funny.The premik-premika meanwhile looked like a pair of dead rabbits. Poor dears! I felt so sorry that I was about to offer them my share of the pakodas.But then! they went back to being laowers and my offer went unheeded.
The girl left. The boy had such a oh-man-i'm-gonna-miss-her look on his face that I felt sorry and bought him chocolates.(I can be surprisingly nice when you're least expecting it)He gave me a big-brother smile and we went home too.All the way,he smiled at everything and everyone he saw-the dusty road,the overpopulated para,the mad,frenzied crowd,the honking snake of autos and lorries had morphed into Dreamland in his love-struck eyes.And I was happy for my tummy was happy.
And that my dear brother had a great time too.God bless.
My First Poem
PostedSundarbaner gaachh
Tar pashete nodi
Tar pashete bari kore
Thaktam ami jodi
....the first poem I wrote! In class 4 or 5 probably.
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