One of my biggest fears is of spending lonely evenings all by myself in a busy metro,in an old coffee shop sipping warm latte,listening to some oldworld classics,watching the rain and a couple of insane trippers hand-in-hand trudging past happily,getting drenched and caring two-hoots about the world.Or of lonely walks along the streets or staying at home all alone,reading a book,watching romantic comedies and wishing for similar things to happen, late at night.I hate the rain.I hate the clouds.I hate Leonard Cohen and John Denver.I hate Annie's Song.I hate Harry and Sally.I hate the mad tripper.
And then,I listen to John Denver crooning a few favorite old songs and I am lost.I calm down and actually fall in love with the rain a little.
I want a rainsong right now.
The rich supposedly 'super-hot-glam' girl actually turns out to be really fat with a receding hairline.
The 'super-suave cool dude' from the phoren actually dishes out some classic Bengali gaalis with such panache and gusto that it can put some localite to shame.
The 'high-and-mighty' actually stood on a chair and broke it.
I have absolutely no friggin' idea why but these little things do cheer me up.
bitch-alert.
I have realised there are certain people and things I'm so smitten with,so much in love with,that I've this manic fear of losing them.I just don't want that to happen.They and these are too precious ot me.And I'll fight tooth and nail with any adversary who dares to take them away from me.That includes my own inner devil too.
Love you all.Thank you for being there and bearing with a very cranky-shaky-almost shattered-low on confidence and self-esteem-angry me.just love you too much.
I wish I could kill three people now.Please allow me free murders.I promise I can justify my actions and won't take advantage of the favor granted.
Please,may I?
Of all the metros I have visited,I think I'd like to live in Bangalore.or Hyderabad.not Chennai.Because Chennai is hot and humid and I don't like Chennai food.Well,if I live in a city,I won't be eating out everyday.But still,I don't like Chennai food.or the weather.It's a tad too sticky or grimy,even by Kolkata standards.(With due respect to all my relatives and friends and other people I don't know living in Chennai.It's not that I don't like your city.I just don't like the weather.The sweat makes the clothes stick to my body like a permanent sticking plaster.and the food.don't get me started on this).I like Delhi.But I wouldn't like to live there.No idea why.(Okay.please ignore my babbling)
But I like Bangalore.I like the buzz,the pace of life.I figured I like fast-paced cities.Now,don't get me wrong.It's not like I like to lead a very fast life with 'no time to stand and stare'.I just like the idea of a fast-paced city.Where nobody's lazy or slouching,nobody's busy being a fatalist,or involved in petty squabbles round-the-clock.Everybody's doing something to eke out a living.That's one of the things about the ambience of Park Street that charms me.The buzz,the life,the verve.The cars zapping by.The bridge,glowing in evening lights,the roads illumianted,the traffic,the busy pedestrians,everybody walking,talking,working.....That's what I really like about Bangalore.apart from the fact that it houses IISc.and that it's rightfullt called India's Sillicon Valley(or something like that).And that it's a corporate hub.And that it's so damn full of life.I like the feel of Bangalore.
Hyderabad is a bit slow-paced compared to B'lore.But,it's the darling of a city,with a very lovely Lumbini Park,overlooking the Hussain Sagar and an essesntially nondescript Secunderabad which however looks beautiful in the evening with twinkling citylights bordering the Lake on its side(think of Mumbai Queen's Necklace and you'll know).And the gigantic Buddha statue in the heart of the lake looks ethereal in the mellow glow of the setting sun and the artificial fluoroscent lights.There's a live band which plays atrocious music and people dance on the boats to entertain you.But all these somehow cannot somehow ruin the charm of the place.
I think the more fast-paced a citylife is,the more enjoyable is the leisure and chilling-out with friends and family.I'd hate to live in a city where life moves in a snail's pace.Such a place is decadent according to me.With no stories.No verve.I am not a very deep person or something if yo uknow what I mean.I cannot justify finding solace and comfort in loneliness or isolation.away from the city.The very thought of staying 'far from the madding crowd' scares me.This is why,I love places like Shimla or Gangtok or Kathmandu over Hee or someplace quiet like that,if I plan to go to the mountains.I need people around me all the time. They may be fighting,squabbling,arguing,bitching,but at least they're alive.I can scream and tell them to shut up if I feel like.
I wonder how do I tell loneliness screaming 'isolation' in my ears to 'shut up'.It won't react.And I,on the other hand,would end up feeling less human each day.